Sharing the Crank Mail

A sampling of the voluminous crank mail recently received by FFRF, printed in all its grammatical glory:


You say there is no afterlife: One day when you stand before Jesus himself and look into his all knowing eyes ready to be judged and cast into hell-fire you will know then that there is afterlife. But also if you die before that and the instand you die you will drop into the pits of hell-fire itseld instantly. You should talk to a doctor that while resusitating a dieing man he heard the man as he regained conscienceness began to scream “I’m in hell pull me out” and begged the Dr. to not let him die. That doctor was an atheist until then, but he became a believer after seeing the fear in that man’s face shaking horibly. — Homer Bentley, Texas


Christmas/winter sulstice: Why aren;t you brave enough to attack other religions like Islam, Satanism, Buddhism etc. Are you really that gutless that you only pick on Christianity, the religion you know won’t attack you back. I pity you as you must be miserable bastards.
— Gary Hooper, Kemp, Texas


Free thought: Your organization is setup almost exactly like a church ie: your president/copresident are your pastor and his wife, then your vice presidents are top deacons or elders, then you have the rest of your deacons and staff that work at the church during the week between services. Just thought you should know. — Monroe Smith II, Bryan, Texas


Hypocrites: Some police officers decided they wanted to march against violence with some people of faith. Your group ihreatened a law suit against the police department? Who the f**k do you think you are? I’m not even a full blown christian. I was once an athiest, on my way converting to Christianity. Take your threatened lawsuit and shove it up your ass. ­— RYAN MCGAHA


Hell: Have fun in HELL… is HOT….JESUS SAVES YOU FROM THIS!!!!!! — John Thompto, California


separation of church and state: Satan would be proud as you have followed every deceit possible. i mourn for your soul as i looked at the site. I am glad that you help people as this is good, but other than that, it is scary. I pray to the only true God that you may return to truth as you once knew or at least participated in. — Paul Somner


Pathetic: The name GOD or a cross or commandments on a building needs to be removed because it offends you? Bunch of damn cry babies. Don’t look at it when you go by. Religion offends you but a strip club doesn’t or a xxx video store doesn’t? So its ok for your children to look at strip clubs or porn movie stores. Wow what great parents you are. I don’t see you suing any satanic cults or these groups that sacrifice live animals. ­— Paul Smith


To Dan Barker: We say Merry CHRISTmas at our house and no it’s not a myth. It turns out that the winter solstice you reference is not on Christmas Day, something you may or may not know. — d w

Upon reflection: I was going to contribute to your group, but after rationally thinking about it, I don’t believe you actually exist. I’ll put the checkbook away. — Yes Abs


Hoover High School church graduation: Some anonymous person complained about this ceremony? I find that hard to believe. If the person truly complained, they should come out from behind the coward’s cloak of anonymity and face the people of North Canton’s Class of 2014. The ceremony has now been relocated to an inferior facility that is a dinosaur in a terrible section of downtown Canton. Because of your organization, my son’s 89 year old grandmother, who is oxygen dependent and in a wheelchair,  will not attend his graduation as she considers it too much of a burden on us to get her back and forth and into the facility. Keep that in mind as you high five each other over this “victory”.
— Drew Gonyias, North Canton, OH


religous freedom: You will never win. Our faith in GOD as christians will ALWAYS trump your lack of it. Enjoy this short life…hell fires burn hot…you’re not against BB-Q right? — JoLynn Bolden


Your wrong: I thought that I had seen it all in this End Time generation, but now what I am seeing from our Atheistic community is the worst by far. There has always been unbelievers, and as we get closer to the tribulation, the bible predicts that this situation want get better but worse. However, in previous generation atheist understood that you can’t have democracy with out Jesus and the bible, so they respected what the religious community did for the world by giving hope to the hopeless. A belief in God is what helps a drunk, put down the bottle after 20 years of hard drinking, and helps a prostitute, give up there life of selfish, pursuits to live a saintly life with Jesus. If life is so great without God why not move to atheistic China, or Russia were there a dictator telling you what to wear, and how to wear it. — Jordan Wells, Indianapolis


You are all fuck heads: Go die! — Jesus Christ, [email protected], 1234 Fuck YOu PL. 101 Suite Fuck YOu, Sacramento, CA


ur assholes: u r ass==== and penis lickers. — bart simpson, 10 dick drive, irwin, pennsylvania


bill boards: How dare you push your communist ideals off on my children. Its your business if you are atheists, but my business when you put up nasty dirty bill boards for my children to see. If your the children of the devil that is your business, but don’t try to push your nasty evil views on all of us. — sharon howard, madera, calif.


Check Your Selves: Check your selfs an tread lightly. i have names [email protected]


God loving: i learned about your bogus bullshit trying to look at some news you are not news you are not america maybe you you would be better off in russia,maybe iran i have no respect for you or your rights if you notice i did nt call you out you called us out get over it and go ahead and get out of our good country nazi trash like you have ruined america for all of us. — good ol religious arky


Happy Solstice?!?! You liberal bleeding heart scumbags will be the downfall of this nation, but not without a fight. Honor and respect the history and heritage of our country’s Judeo Christian values or get the fuck out. Where would you be without this nation’s Judeo Christian heritage? Worked out well for Lenin’s commie atheist experiment didn’t it? You will burn in Hell. Enjoy! — Matthew Stevens, California


Atheists? Who keeps the sun just far enough away for warmth, light for plants, animals? Who feeds the birds? Who thought up all this? Atheists insult their own intelligence. We all get to meet JESUS. Never has JESUS/GOD been taken out of schools, poems, songs, books, till now. I hear JESUS’ footsteps. HE is walking towards you. — Lance Thomas, Savannah, Ga.


Reality: If there was proof that contradicts your beliefs, would you be willing to listen? Let me know. — Drake Kent, Marlinton, W. Virginia


Just A Hate Letter: Seriously guys, what the fuck? There is nothing wrong with religion. It brings people hope and happiness. Shoving this bullshit down the throats of everyone is not fair. It’s annoying to see people like you make being an atheist a struggle. I hope everyone in your pathetic fucking organization gets shot in the dick. Even the female members. — Brandyn Silva, Vacaville, Calif.

Freedom From Religion Foundation