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(Ken's Old Fashion) Vegetable Dip
Ken Taubert

  • 1/2 pint sour cream
  • 1 cup mayonnaise
  • 1 Tbsp dill weed
  • 2 Tbsp minced onion
  • 2 Tbsp parsley flakes
  • 2 tsp Lawry's seasoning salt

Mix sour cream and mayonnaise thoroughly. Add seasonings one at a time. Cover and chill overnight. Dip is good for any vegetable-- celery, carrots, green pepper, fresh mushrooms, cauliflower.

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Mexican Dip
Bob Nentwich

Place in layers in a 12 X 10 X 2 deep casserole dish in the following order:

  • 1 large can (about 2 lb) refried beans
  • 1 envelope taco seasoning (sprinkle over beans)
  • 2 large ripe avocados mashed with equal amounts of sour cream (add a little lemon juice to keep avocados from turning brown)
  • 1 thin layer of chopped ripe olives
  • 1 thin layer of chopped green bell pepper
  • 1 can (7-oz) of diced green mild chiles (not Jalapeños, as they will rot your sox as well as your digestive tract)
  • 1 layer of chopped green onions
  • 1 layer shredded Monterey Jack cheese
  • 1 layer shredded mild Cheddar cheese
  • 1 layer chopped ripe tomatoes
  • 1 layer sour cream
  • 1 more layer chopped ripe olives

Top with a little Mexican Salsa (hot sauce not taco sauce).

May be eaten cold but is much better if heated in medium oven or microwave until hot through all layers and cheese is melted. Tastes even better if put together, and then refrigerated for 24 hours or more before heating and serving. Serve with Tortilla chips.

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Sweet-Sour French Dressing
Paul Gaylor

  • 1/4 cup wine vinegar
  • 1/8 cup water
  • 1/3 cup sugar
  • 1/2 tsp paprika
  • 2-3 Tbsp ketchsup
  • 1/2 cup canola or olive oil
  • Dash of celery salt
  • Dash of dry mustard
  • Fresh onion juice scraped in or dash of onion powder

Put in cruet or covered jar. Shake well and chill.

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Bar-B-Q Sauce
Anonymous Freethinker

  • 2 tsp dry mustard (live dangerously and use 1 Tbsp)
  • 1/3 cup water
  • 1/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 1/2 cup catsup
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 Tbsp brown sugar, packed
  • 1/4-1/2 tsp cayenne
  • 2 Tbsp salad oil

Mix mustard and water in small sauce pan. Add other ingredients. Bring to a boil, stirring several times. That's all there is to it. Use it on anything.

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Hot Prune-Face Juice
Flo Ninelles

A fall and winter drink that is a change from tea and can be served with little ham salad or curried chicken tea sandwiches.

Soak 12 dried prunes overnight in 2 cups water. Dice prunes and return to juice. Add one Tbsp sugar. Simmer gently 1/2 hour. Strain, pushing through some pulp. Heat juice and serve in glass punch cups topped with whipped cream sprinkled with cinnamon or with stiffly beaten egg whites flavored with lemon juice.

One luxurious serving.

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Posset
Anne Nicol Gaylor

A simple drink for the person who wants something hot without the stimulation off coffee or tea or the richness of hot chocolate. Too simple to be called a recipe, but a standby in Wisconsin's cold climate. If you find yourself awake at 3 AM, it will put you to sleep.

  • 1 cup milk
  • 1/2-3/4 tsp sugar
  • Dash of cinnamon or nutmeg.

Heat milk and sugar over very slow heat. Vary the amount of sugar according to your taste. Pour into a mug and dust with a little cinnamon or nutmeg.

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Bedeviled Sandwich Spreads
Sara Bryant

Crab

  • 1 can (8- oz) crab meat, tendons removed
  • 1/2 cup mayonnaise
  • 1 Tbsp chili sauce
  • 1 tsp sugar
  • 1/2 tsp curry powder
  • 1 hard boiled egg, finely chopped

Mix together. A drop or two of fresh lemon juice adds flavor.

Dried Beef

  • 1/4 lb dried beef
  • 1 package (12-oz) cream cheese, room temperature
  • Onion, a tablespoon of finely chopped onion or juice from fresh onion scraped in
  • Worcestershire sauce, a dash or two

Shred the beef and mix with other ingredients.

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Raspberry/Cranberry Sauce
Doris Radtke

  • 2 packages (10-oz each) frozen raspberries
  • 1 1/2 cups cold water with raspberry juice (combined total)
  • 1 can (16-oz) whole cranberry sauce
  • 1 package (3.4-oz) lemon gelatin
  • 1 package (3.4-oz) raspberry gelatin
  • 2 cups hot water

Thaw raspberries in their containers. Drain juice into a 2-cup measuring cup and add enough cold water to make 1 1/2 cups total liquid. Refrigerate raspberries and liquid (separately). Dissolve gelatins in hot water and, while still somewhat warm, stir in cranberry sauce, dissolving sauce but keeping berries whole. Stir in cold liquid. Pour into serving bowl and chill until almost firm. Stir in raspberries and chill until gelatin has set.

Caution: Berries will sink to the bottom if sauce is not almost firm when berries are added.

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Freethought Fritters
Gina Billington & John Sigwald

  • 1 large apple, diced
  • 3/4 cup flour
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 1 cup shortening
  • 1/3 cup milk
  • Powdered sugar

Add shortening to skillet and preheat to 370°. Mx flour and baking powder. Add milk and beaten egg and mix. Finally, add diced apples and mix thoroughly. Use a large spoon to drop spoonfuls of fritter batter into hot shortening— don't over-crowd the skillet! Use a couple of forks to turn fritters. Cook 2-3 minutes on each side. Drain on paper towels. When cool dust lightly with powdered sugar.

Makes about one dozen 2-inch diameter fritters.

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Fire and Brimstone Marble Cake
Nancy Mongere

(Culinary Musings, Etc.)

It has been said that culture can be measured by the cuisine. Oh, yes, history books bore you with irrelevant data about pointless wars which essentially didn't change a thing, because their outcome was usually reversed with the following war, and detailed names and dates for generals, who carried out strategies which could just as well have been carried out by the man's neighbor. In fact, twenty other strategies would have probably achieved the same end. But history books are written by men, and needless to say, those short-changed fellows want to brag about a few accomplishments too--even if it is only a detailed description of how a number of blokes killed a number of other blokes in the name of god, country, and apple pie.

As anybody knows, the real civilization of nations came about in the kitchen. The first thing one observed in the Third World is that the food is lousy. The deeper one goes into an uncivilized area, the more a can of ravioli starts to look like Thanksgiving dinner. I fully agree therefore that in order to take their rightful place in civilization, atheists have to develop a godless cookbook. I can hardly wait until it is published. Somehow the story goes around that the women in the Old World (which hasn't been on this planet a day longer than the New World) are all marvelous pastry chefs.

Well, between you, me, and the fence pole, the masterpiece you are offered with coffee in a European home was most likely created in the bakery down the street. One of the oldest traditions on the continent is to offer guests store-bought pastry. Home-made pastry is less elaborate and therefore usually only offered to members of the family or to very close friends. Of course, those bakeries over there do create some culinary miracles. The art in being a good housewife on the continent does not lie in the ability to bake a marvelous cake, but in knowing which bakery sells the most marvelous one. Did that just shatter a New World illusion? Well, putting together New World illusions and the fact that I hail from a French-speaking country that is noted for its wonderful pastry, I'm expected to serve good cakes. And I do! Unfortunately, the bakeries here let me down with their powdered eggs, powdered milk, and artificial sweetener. So, here is my recipe for a semigenuine, continental, Fire and Brimstone Marble Cake. Buy a package of yellow cake mix of your preference. Follow the instructions exactly with the following exceptions: Separate the eggs, and beat the egg whites. Instead of water, use milk, but only two-thirds of the required amount. The other third of water should be replaced with cognac or brandy (do use French brandy, because American brandy tastes like medicine). Add some scraped lemon peel. Fold in the beaten egg whites. Put about half or 2/3 of the mixture into a tubular pan. To the remainder, add a few spoons of cocoa and one teaspoon of instant coffee. Stir well, and dribble that on top of the white batter. Bake according to the directions on the box. And don't tell a soul that your cake came from a package. Don't destroy illusions.

Bon appetit!

P.S.: And please have mercy upon this concoction and don't disgrace it with typical store-brand canned coffee. Serve it with coffee from the deli that has been ground nearly to powder and was prepared by filtering (Mr. Coffee et al ). I hate to say this, but what most Americans do with coffee should be against the law. Remember, Ms. Olson has a phony accent, and coffee doesn't have to be grown in the mountains. However, it has to be first rate and must be ground to a powder and filtered to taste good.

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Unsolicited Cooking Tips
Jeanie Gillespie

Throw in a few garlic cloves with potatoes the next time you're boiling them. Mash as for mashed potatoes. Adds zing. When making meat loaf, boil 5-6 -7-8 whole cloves of garlic for a minute or two and add whole to meat mixture. Form into loaf and bake as usual. Unusually good. After eating these garlicky good dishes, it's great to answer the knock of your local Jehovah's Witnesses with a deep "HHH-iii!"

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Fried Sugar Balls
Jennifer Molenaar
(Worst Ever Recipe!)

  • 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
  • 1/4 cup powdered sugar
  • 1 1/2 cups lard
  • 3 sticks margarine

Heat lard in skillet. Melt margarine. Mix in granulated sugar and form balls about one inch thick. Drop sugar balls into hot lard. Remove when golden brown. Serve hot on styrofoam plates, sprinkled with powdered sugar.

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